The Ultimate Fanfic
by HermioneHuff
Summary: A girl is forced to choose between her favourite fandoms. How do you do that? One-Shot, Based on a dream... I apologize for the writing format, it's only a rough draft. Rated T for possible Language


The following groups want me to permanently join them!

The Fellowship of the Ring

The Avengers

Dumbledore's Army

The NCIS team… (The original not LA)

The Pokémon Crew (The original, not this new crap)

Together, they'll create…

**THE ULTIMATE FANFIC!**

**Setting: **A Basement. Alicia is sitting on the floor (on top of mats, because it is a basement), with her iPod Nano, playing Klondike.

**NOTE:** When I say 'walks in', before they go outside… I mean 'walks down stairs and approaches'… and also, when I say _ and Alicia laugh, it's because she understands every joke because she loves all these fandoms

**Background Info:** I don't know much about Loki's character so I added an extra… twist… to make him OOC…

Alicia has just finished watching Return of the King. She is in a state of mind of shock from the end… she is also in the following 'Streaks of Interest' – NCIS, Pokémon, Avengers… And she has always been a Potterhead; therefore they're all on her mind when…

**Legolas:** (walks in) I beg your pardon, but are you Alicia?

**Alicia: **(Shocked out of her mind now) Yes… and you're Legolas… (Points at him)

**Gimli: **(walks in) Well, that saves introductions for you.

**Alicia: **I know all of you, which saves introductions for all. You're Gimli, that's Frodo (Points to each as they walk in), Sam, Pippin, Merry, Aragorn, Gandalf and Boromir… although _you're_ dead.

**Boromir: **(laughs) I told you not to try to recruit this girl, she thinks I'm dead when I'm standing in front of her.

**Gandalf: **Hold on, let her rationalize her choice of words. As I told you, there is a legitimate reason we need her.

**Alicia:** Well, I guess since it looks like you have just started, you don't die until later… I'm going to shut up now.

**Pippin: **I'm confused.

**Merry: **You always are, Pip.

**Sam: **It's not just Pippin… I don't understand either.

**Alicia: **It's a long story… but enough of that, why do you need me to help you?

**Gandalf:** Well, we need you to be the tenth member of The Fellowship of the Ring.

**Alicia: **Alright! Sure, I'll-

**Harry Potter:** (walks in and interrupts) Not so fast, we need you too!

**Alicia: **_Harry Freaking Potter?!_

**Harry: **Yup, that's me. We need you to join Dumbledore's Army and stop Voldemort.

**Aragorn:** I'm sorry, but I believe _we_ had the young lady Alicia with us first.

**Alicia: **(swoons)

**Ron Weasley:** (walks in with Hermione Granger) Yeah, but she hasn't quite agreed yet, has she? Therefore, we have just as much say as you do on which group she goes with. And we need her in Dumbledore's Army.

**Legolas:** Hold on, shouldn't that decision fall to the person in question?

**Hermione: **He's right, Ronald. It's Alicia's choice.

**Alicia: **Now hang on a minute...

**Iron Man:** (walks in with imaginary fanfare) yes, do what the lady says… we need a say in this too.

**Alicia: **(almost passes out, gasping)

**Captain America: **(walks in to no fanfare) Tony, calm down. It's her decision, whether we like it or not.

**Hermione: **Wow, someone agrees!

**Alicia: **(still can't breathe)

**The Hulk: **(knocks on door) Hulk want in!

**Iron Man: **Should we?

**Alicia:** (manages to find voice) No, my mom would kill me if he destroyed anything… why don't we move this outside so he doesn't break the door?

**Everyone: **Agreed. (They all walk outside into the backyard)

**Thor: **(is already outside) Oh, all this just to meet the King? I'm flattered.

**Iron Man:** Nope. We're doing this so the house doesn't get destroyed. Because then Alicia would get in trouble, and we'd all be screwed.

**Thor: **(looks disappointed) Oh. Well, then, will she join us?

**Captain America: **That's up to her.

**Thor: **What is there to debate? Surely we need her more than these mortals do…

**Legolas: **Excuse me? I'm not mortal!

**Thor: **Prove it.

**Aragorn: **How would he do that?

**(Everyone starts arguing)**

**Alicia: **STOP! (Everyone stops) This is too much! (Grasps scalp in frustration and walks off to the side, sits down beside fence.)

**(Everyone looks concerned, so they decide who will go comfort her)**

**Aragorn: **(walks over, kneels beside her, while Legolas stands on the other side of her, unnoticed by her) It is your decision.

**Alicia: **But how do I make a decision when there are so many to make?

**Legolas: **(startles her) Just go with what seems best. It doesn't have to be us; it can be anyone you want.

**Ash Ketchum: **(he, Misty and a very love-struck Brock walk into the yard) Hey, is there an Alicia here?

**Alicia: **(stands up and turns around) Yes… Let me guess, you want me to join you?

**Ash: **(stops in tracks) How'd you know?

**Alicia: **Lucky guess.

**Iron Man, Aragorn, the Hobbits: **(burst out laughing)

**Alicia: **I just hope there aren't any more…

**Loki: **(appears out of thin air, staggering) Have no fear, Loki's here!

**Thor: **(strides over, catching a falling Loki) Brother, are you _drunk?_

**Loki: **(giggling) what do _you_ think?

**Alicia: **(almost laughs, but doesn't)

**Loki: **(produces a bottle of unknown substances) Mortal drinks seem to have a very good effect on me.

**Thor: **Where did you get that?! (Takes it from him) Is this really vodka?

**Loki: **Wouldn't you like to know?

**Thor: **I hate to ask, but how many of these did you drink?

**Loki: **(counts on finger, then stops) One, two… I don't know. No less than fifteen. (Giggles again)

**Thor: **(Raises hammer) that's it, I'm taking you home. (Thor is about to use the Bifrost Bridge when…)

**Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Ziva David, and Anthony DiNozzo: **(walks into the backyard with gun aimed) (Gibbs says) NCIS, everyone drop your weapons!

**Thor: **(drops hammer) NCI- what?

**DiNozzo: **Come on, you haven't heard of very special agent Anthony DiNozzo?

**Thor: **(Picks up hammer and dusts it off) Er, no.

**Ziva: **There you go, Tony. You're not so special after all.

**Abby Sciuto: **(walks into the yard, towing Timothy McGee behind her) McGee! That's her! (Points at Alicia, clearly excited)

**McGee:** Boss, she says that's the one who she wanted to work with her.

**Gibbs: **(slightly sarcastic I heard, McGee.

**Alicia: **Now just hang on a minute… how do I choose where to go with all of these options?

**DiNozzo: **Easy. Just come with us.

**Ziva: **Don't be so insensitive, maybe these people need her more.

**Captain America: **Thank you, ma'am.

**DiNozzo: **Ma'am?

**Alicia: **I don't know how to respond to this…

**Thor: **Well, while I take Loki here back home, why doesn't every group have one person summarize why they need the young miss here and we'll go from there when I get back?

**Ron: **Why should we listen to you?

**Harry: **Yeah, who are you anyways?

**Hermione: **Honestly, don't you two _read?_

**Ron: **Based on her tone, he must have something to do with _Hogwarts: A History._

**Alicia and Harry burst out laughing.**

**Hermione: **(grinning) No, but I'm glad you pay attention. Actually, that's Thor, a God of one of the Muggle races. His brother is that intoxicated man there, Loki.

**Thor: **I'm impressed. You must do your homework often.

**Hermione blushes.**

**Ron: **A little too often if you ask me.

**Alicia and Harry laugh again.**

**Thor:** Well, I must be off. Farewell, mortals… and Legolas.

**Legolas: **Thank you.

**Thor: **Start from last to first of who got here. (Takes Loki and leaves)

**Abby: **Okay, so here's the thing; I heard from a Scientist friend that there is this teacher in Thunder Bay who has a student named Alicia who is so smart in science that I want her as my assistant in Forensics… for those of you who don't know, we solve murders.

**Alicia: **That's my dream job, honestly.

**Misty: **Okay, since those two (gestures to Ash and Brock) will mess it up, I'll say it; Team Rocket is taking over Goldenrod City again. We were told by Professor Oak that Alicia has beaten them before, so we need her help or they could take over all of Johto and maybe even Kanto too.

**Alicia: **It's true, I have. But I'll need a Typhlosion.

**Ash: **Professor Elm is supplying that; he found a way to transfer all of your Pokémon from your Soul-Silver game to real Pokémon.

**Alicia: **_Sweet._

**Captain America: **Well, _we_ need her because someone has taken it upon themselves to fill in Loki's place, trying to take over the planet. Agent Romanov, who is on a mission right now, was told by Fury that you could help us.

**Alicia: **Sounds awesome.

**Hermione: **Ours is simple. We need your help to stop Voldemort, for obvious reasons, and Dumbledore told us you were the second best hope, beat only by Harry.

**Alicia: **Er, sounds a bit dangerous to me… but if Dumbledore wants it, then fine.

**Gandalf: **Her knowledge and skills are required to get the Ring of Power to Mount Doom, to destroy it so Sauron doesn't get it.

**Alicia: **I'm game, just as long as… never mind, I'm going to stop _right there_.

**Thor: **(returns with Loki. Loki is still drunk. As soon as Thor takes a step towards the group Loki passes out. He just shakes his head and keeps walking.) Okay, unanimous vote made yet?

**Iron Man: **I thought you were bringing Loki home…

**Thor: **He would not stay. He just kept crying at the top of his lungs like an infant every time I went to leave.

**Iron Man: **I see…

**Thor: **Have we come to a conclusion, though?

**Alicia: **Well, as far as I can tell, the only ones that actually seem to need my help are the Avengers, NCIS, and Ash's crew.

**There is uproar at Alicia's words.**

**Ash: **(in the background) Hear that? It's _my_ crew.

**Boromir: **_What!?_ Didn't you say you'd be glad to help us!? Why don't we actually need your help?!

**Ron: **What about us!?

**Alicia: **Because I know you can do it yourselves! You guys don't need me; I know it for a fact because I watched you do it! Harry, you're the only one who can stop Voldemort… and Frodo is the only one who can destroy the ring, though it takes just over a year.

**Pippin: **A year!? (Faints)

**Alicia: **(laughs) Yes, a year. But you _can_ do it!

**Aragorn: **I think she's right.

**Legolas: **There's truth in her eyes, and confidence in us.

**Alicia: **But NCIS, I'd love to work for, because who knows if they need me in the future? And I don't know if the Avengers need my help because I haven't seen them do it themselves. The Pokémon crew's problem will only take a little while, whereas defeating Voldemort took about eight months. So I won't help those who can help themselves.

**Hermione: **Well, we can't force you. And if you say we can, then we can.

**(The Trio and the Fellowship leave)**

**Alicia: **So, I'll help Ash, Misty and Brock first because it'll take the least amount of time, then the Avengers because that'll eventually conclude, and then I'll work at NCIS for the rest of my life.

**Abby: **Alright!

**Captain America: **I think you made the right choice, miss.

**Ash:** Perfect!

**Alicia: **Let me just go grab my Pokémon game, pack a bag, leave a note for my mom and then we'll go.

**Brock: **That sounds good.

**Misty: **Finally found your voice, Brock?

**Brock: **(blushes) well, uh…

**Alicia: **(laughs and goes inside)

**Loki: **(wakes up) Wazgoinon?

**Thor: **It's a long story.

**Loki: **Where am I? Who are those people? (gestures to Ash, Misty, Brock and the NCIS team)

**Thor: **Er, I'll explain later.

**Loki: **Alright… (passes back out)


End file.
